But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions?
Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous.
Q: I just got out of a long relationship. I'm not looking to jump back into another one, but I have recently started hooking up with a friend and dating other guys.
In the past, if I've liked someone enough to have sex looking themI've tended to get attached, and ended up falling in love and in relationship with them — whether I actually thought they were right for me or not. I guess I'm wondering, if I don't think that's what I want to do anymore, are there any ways to protect myself and my feelings when I'm trying out casual sex and dating more than one person at once?
I'm new at this, and I want to make sure I'm taking care of myself. Casual sex is sort of like that great idea you have for an art project -—you can picture it perfectly in your head, but when you actually sit down to do it, it never looks exactly how you thought it would. It may be time to take a step back and consider some options for how to proceed from here.
Here are nine ways to protect your feelings when you're trying out casual sex — without being a jerk to yourself, lkoking your partner. One option you have is to keep having casual sex and letting it lead where it le.
They might have been a good person for you to be with at that point in your life, or it might have been the kind of relationship you needed or were capable of at that time. Of course, if you think that casual sex is seriously lookign your judgment, this may not be the best option for you.
If you keep falling into relationships with people who genuinely are not good fits, you may want to reconsider your stance on casual sex. The idea of casual sex is great, but the reality of it is often a lot harder than people realize. You can use this information the next time you find yourself in that situation. Or you can ask a trusted friend to remind you of your tendencies.
You might find casual sex easier if you set some guidelines for yourself. You may also want to consider guidelines like not sleeping with people in your friend group or not sleeping with people who are looking for relationships. If intercourse is proving to be too difficult for you, you can try taking it off the table for casual hook-ups.
You can still have a ton of fun without having intercourse. You may find it easier to stay emotionally detached if you stick with less intimate activities.
One of the llooking of casual sex is that the more time you spend together, the easier it is to become attached. You may want to consider not to seeing your sexual partner more than a couple of times a month. Try to balance things out by having a sexual relationship with yourself.
Make time to take of your body and lavish attention on yourself. Masturbate regularly. Invest in high-quality sex toys or beautiful lingerie.
Learn how to make yourself orgasmor how to give yourself multiple orgasms. That's OK!
What's important is that you be true to yourself, stay safe, and have fun. By Vanessa Marin.